23 September, 2009

big changes!

I'm still hanging in there, trying to do better and get back on track... It's hard. However, I have something that's REALLY motivating me!!!! Want to see?

Have a look here!

Yep, that's right. I have a new blog! YAY! Thanks to The Blog Fairy, all my blog wishes came true!

This is a new start for me. Hope to see you there! :)

21 September, 2009


Erm... that loss I was talking about in my last post? It's gone. Well, almost. I weighed in this morning and had a gain of + 1.3 kg /2.9 lbs... UGH!

I knew it was coming though... it wasn't totally out of the blue. My favourite cousin had his housewarming party on Saturday and there was a lot of food... and I tried it all. And then I went back for seconds. And because there was so much leftovers (especially bread and meat and cheese), some of us went back on Sunday morning for a big brunch... Um, yeah. My weekend was literally filled with food. And so was I.

So. Today is the beginning of a new week. A fresh start again. My tracker is printed and I'm ready to do better!

I've got lots of ideas and big plans and SO much to tell you all... Unfortunately I don't have much time right now or else I'm running late for work, but I'll be back tonight. Stay tuned for some big news! ;)

Have a good day!

15 September, 2009

a few random things

Oh boy, this week has me busy busy busy again... I'm actually sitting in bed right now with the laptop on my knees, totally ready to hit the hay! But I really wanted to check in real quick and let you know how I'm doing and hopefully I'll be able to read at least a few of your blogs before I fall asleep... In order to keep things sweet and short, I'll just do a bullet style post for today.

-- I totally HAVE to tell you about my weigh-in on Monday! Wait for it... I had a super duper loss of 1.8 kilos / 4lbs !!! WOOHOOO!!! Sure, I've been sick and that's the main reason for my loss, but still... I'll take it! :)

-- My exercise plan this week has been just that... a plan. Need to work on that!!! My throat is still a bit sore, but I could still do some light workouts. It's certainly not a good enough excuse.

-- I'm super nervous about tomorrow night... I'm going to have to speak in front of about 130 parents of our students! Oh my... not much and not for very long, just introducing myself to them and telling them about my subject, but still... 130 people!!!

-- Good things are about to happen around here... You'll see soon enough! :)

-- I'm really pooped now... I hope I'll be able to catch up with all of you tomorrow.

Good night for now!

11 September, 2009

feeling better!

I spent today cleaning the whole flat: changing sheets, vacuuming, scrubbing the bathroom, cleaning out the fridge, doing laundry... now I feel like a domestic goddess! Actually, I don't even mind cleaning and housekeeping too much, especially since I discovered audiobooks. Nowadays, I just load up my iPod and do all the household stuff while I'm listening to a good book. That way, I don't even realise I'm actually working... easy peasy! :) And there's just something cathartic about cleaning and decluttering... It's as if my mind becomes clean and fresh and shiny too!

So yeah, I feel a lot better today. I'm really glad this whole being sick thing passed over quickly, so that I'll be ready for action again next week. I'll probably still be twitching things around, but here's my workout plan as it stands at the moment:


Body Pump

Bike to work

Bike to work

Walk or some exercise DVD


whatever I feel like...

My ultimate goal is to incorporate two workouts into every day. I need to step things up a notch! But realistically, I think I'll concentrate on doing some sort of exercise each day and every time I get in a second workout it'll be a bonus.

And I'm still having my fingers crossed for a good weigh in next Monday! I know, realistically, I probably won't be able to keep the super loss the scale showed yesterday... I've barely eaten a thing when I was sick, and now that I feel better and am eating again it probably won't last. But still, I should be able to manage a loss, shouldn't I? I just need to be extra careful over the weekend. Especially tonight!

This is what I'll be tempted with in only a few hours: Raclette... YUM!

It's a traditional Swiss dish and so so delicious... if you like cheese that is. Which I do! Nowadays, people usually have a combined oven/grill where you can also grill bacon and sausages and other assorted meat on top and just put the cheese slices underneath to melt. Yummy!

Hope you all have a great Friday!

09 September, 2009

under the weather

I've been sick the last few days. Sore throat, running nose, fever... the works! The regulations about coming in for work when sick are quite strict at the moment because of the swine flu, especially for teachers, so I got to stay home today. I basically just slept the whole day and it worked, I feel a lot better now... still not a hundred percent, but at least the fever's gone.

Being sick has somewhat thwartet my plans of getting back into a routine this week though. Remember I wanted to figure out what kind of workouts would fit best for each day of my week? Umm... this week I haven't done any exercise. At all. Zero. Nada. But I'm cutting myself some slack here. Seriously, I just couldn't... my throat hurt like hell after a very slow five minute walk from my school to the train station already. So instead of actually DOING any exercise, I analysed my schedule and came up with a tentative workout plan. At least I thought about it, right?

And the good thing about not feeling well? For me, that would definitely be the loss of appetite! Don't get me wrong, I don't like being sick. Not at all. But it's nice to know that there's this tiny bit of joy that'll help you through the hurting and suffering... :) I've had no difficulties whatsoever to say No to food in the past few days. Even when my sister brought down Pizza for the boy yesterday (she lives in the flat above us), I had like two bites and was done... it's just not the same when your tastebuds aren't working properly... So yeah, the scales have showed me some nice numbers today! Suddenly, losing 10 pounds in September doesn't seem quite so impossible anymore... :)

I guess there's always a bright side to everything!

PS: Thank you SO much for all the lovely comments on my fatty-fiasco at the beginning of this week! I know the old lady has probably lost some her marbles and I should actually feel sorry for her... It's just that her remarks really hurt. And then your comments made me feel a lot better! You're the best.

07 September, 2009

fat pants and bitter old ladies

Today I printed out a brand new journal for a brand new week. Let's get things rolling! It's time for me to figure out my new routine... I work only part time, so there should be plenty of time left for me to exercise and do stuff for myself and my health! My goal for this week is to figure out what's feasible each day. So today, for instance, I realised that Monday maybe isn't the best day for me to get up earlier to go for a run. Since I started school, I always intended to do that and it just never happened... It's Monday is always the busiest day work wise for me! Going for a run on a Tuesdays actually suits me much better. Ha, I'm getting there... by the end of this week I'll have come up with a workout schedule that suits my needs perfectly. Yay! Nothing can stop me then.... :)

Oh, and that crappy picture up there? That's me in my fat pants. Don't mind the strange angle and the view of our hideously red door frames... it's not that easy to take a quick picture of yourself... :) That's how I went to work today. Yes, in my fat pants. They're just a thousand times more comfortable at the moment than my jeans and don't give me muffin top issues! They're not very nice though... all worn out because I was in them for a quite a while before I went travelling. And the colour... I have a hard time finding shirts and shoes to go with it. Besides, they kind of feel like an orange flashing sign that says "Look here! Look at how BIG this butt and these thighs are!"

I was kind of hoping this is just my imagination but today I was proved wrong. After work I quickly ran into the supermarket to buy a few things and while I was looking at the shelves and putting things in my basket, an elderly lady came up behind me without me hearing her. When I turned to go to another aisle, I sort of bumped into her. Well, I didn't really bump into HER, it was more a case of my shopping basket touching hers... Seriously, it was nothing. And being the nice person that I am, I instantly turned around and apologised to her. You think that's where she should smile and say "It's alright love, no harm done" or something along those lines? Yeah me too... Here's what she said instead:

Her: DON'T YOU HAVE EYES?! (yes, she practically shouted)

Me (totally taken aback by her reaction but still friendly): Um... Not at the back of my head I'm afraid... Listen, I'm really sorry.

Her (walking away, muttering under her breath but still loud enough for me and everyone else to hear): ... but of course, you're fat and overweight! (as in: That's the reason you bumped into me.)

Me (utterly gobsmacked and thinking WHAT? What does it have to do with it?): Oh. Well observed. But I already knew. I do have a mirror at home, you know...

At this point, I might have or not have muttered something under my breath too... I'm not proud of that, because I don't usually go about and talk that way to little old ladies, but I just felt totally insulted and humiliated and angry!

So that's when she turns around and practically yells: ... AND YOU'RE A FATTY!

I was stunned into silence. The two people that were in the same aisle looked away, embarrassed. I could tell they felt for me, but I just thought "She's right, isn't she? I'm a fatty." I felt like laughing out loud about her total rudeness and at the same time felt tears stinging. I know she's just an old bitter woman who has maybe gone a bit mental already, and I should just shrug it off. But the remark stung. Like, REALLY stung. And the same time it makes me very very angry. Why do people think it's ok to insult and humiliate fat people? I'm equal. I'm a worthy person too, regardless of my weight.

Plus, I could outrun her anytime... Take that, old bitch!

04 September, 2009


I'm still in some kind of limbo land where I'm trying to find a routine... It's slowly getting better though. Since I started my new job about 3 weeks ago, everything has been new and special and exciting. While it's been a nice change, I'm still glad the novelty of it all is finally subsiding... I need routine! It'll help me to concentrate on eating healthy and getting enough exercise in. During those frist weeks I've had no mental capacity to do that... and it shows. Blimey, does it ever show!

So it's time for a few confessions... I reached a new high on the scale! Aarrgh! It's not the highest weight I've ever been, but the highest since I lost so much weight when I was travelling... It's hard to admit, but within those 10 months I've now officially gained 14 kilos (31 pounds) back. And even though I'm a metric person and only convert my numbers into pounds for my non-metric friends, it totally, utterly irks me that I'm back in the 170's... Ugh! And it's not just about the number either... It's as if some invisible 'fat mark' has been overstepped, because I now feel it on every level: I'm fat again. It doesn't take much to get me out of breath. I'm sweating easily. The self-conscious tugging at shirts has returned. I'm back in my hideous fat pants. If I wear my normal jeans there's some serious muffin top issue going on. I feel fat and I feel ashamed.

But - and there's a big BUT - it won't stay this way for long... I already declared September as my month for a fresh start and now I want this to become reality more than ever!!! Oh, and I've got every reason to make this happen too... Apart from feeling way better, being healthier, happier and more confident I also totally want a 'GO GIRL' package from Toronto which the lovely Kerry offered to send should I lose 10 pounds by the end of September. What an incentive! It's going to be tough, but I totally want to give this my all! (Of course, I'm already thinking of things to include in my package for her, since I'm quite sure that she will reach this goal...) On top of that fun incentive there's also my scheduled yearly OB appointement at the end of this month which hopefully should get me going. Last time my doctor saw me was when I got back from travelling, i.e. 14 kilos/31 pounds ago... ugh... I'm already nervous. Apart from the usual fun stuff we will also talk about us trying to conceive without success and what the next steps could/should be. I already know that I'm not putting my body in the best position to fall pregnant by being overweight, but hearing it from my doctor will be absolutely mortifying nonetheless... So I'm sure it'll be less of a blow if I'm already on my way to a healthier weight and feeling a bit better about myself.

First step: getting back into the 160's. There are no special events or extra things planned for next week, it'll be just a normal work week... perfect for me to establish a routine with my new schedule and all.

Here I go again...