fat pants and bitter old ladies

Today I printed out a brand new journal for a brand new week. Let's get things rolling! It's time for me to figure out my new routine... I work only part time, so there should be plenty of time left for me to exercise and do stuff for myself and my health! My goal for this week is to figure out what's feasible each day. So today, for instance, I realised that Monday maybe isn't the best day for me to get up earlier to go for a run. Since I started school, I always intended to do that and it just never happened... It's Monday is always the busiest day work wise for me! Going for a run on a Tuesdays actually suits me much better. Ha, I'm getting there... by the end of this week I'll have come up with a workout schedule that suits my needs perfectly. Yay! Nothing can stop me then.... :)

Oh, and that crappy picture up there? That's me in my fat pants. Don't mind the strange angle and the view of our hideously red door frames... it's not that easy to take a quick picture of yourself... :) That's how I went to work today. Yes, in my fat pants. They're just a thousand times more comfortable at the moment than my jeans and don't give me muffin top issues! They're not very nice though... all worn out because I was in them for a quite a while before I went travelling. And the colour... I have a hard time finding shirts and shoes to go with it. Besides, they kind of feel like an orange flashing sign that says "Look here! Look at how BIG this butt and these thighs are!"

I was kind of hoping this is just my imagination but today I was proved wrong. After work I quickly ran into the supermarket to buy a few things and while I was looking at the shelves and putting things in my basket, an elderly lady came up behind me without me hearing her. When I turned to go to another aisle, I sort of bumped into her. Well, I didn't really bump into HER, it was more a case of my shopping basket touching hers... Seriously, it was nothing. And being the nice person that I am, I instantly turned around and apologised to her. You think that's where she should smile and say "It's alright love, no harm done" or something along those lines? Yeah me too... Here's what she said instead:

Her: DON'T YOU HAVE EYES?! (yes, she practically shouted)

Me (totally taken aback by her reaction but still friendly): Um... Not at the back of my head I'm afraid... Listen, I'm really sorry.

Her (walking away, muttering under her breath but still loud enough for me and everyone else to hear): ... but of course, you're fat and overweight! (as in: That's the reason you bumped into me.)

Me (utterly gobsmacked and thinking WHAT? What does it have to do with it?): Oh. Well observed. But I already knew. I do have a mirror at home, you know...

At this point, I might have or not have muttered something under my breath too... I'm not proud of that, because I don't usually go about and talk that way to little old ladies, but I just felt totally insulted and humiliated and angry!

So that's when she turns around and practically yells: ... AND YOU'RE A FATTY!

I was stunned into silence. The two people that were in the same aisle looked away, embarrassed. I could tell they felt for me, but I just thought "She's right, isn't she? I'm a fatty." I felt like laughing out loud about her total rudeness and at the same time felt tears stinging. I know she's just an old bitter woman who has maybe gone a bit mental already, and I should just shrug it off. But the remark stung. Like, REALLY stung. And the same time it makes me very very angry. Why do people think it's ok to insult and humiliate fat people? I'm equal. I'm a worthy person too, regardless of my weight.

Plus, I could outrun her anytime... Take that, old bitch!